Max Garcia Conover - Self Portrait

self portrait

i was a white looking kid from a small white town
with a puerto rican mom and i thought a lot about
how faded everyone around me was

i was a socialist and a shy little dude
i was playing tupac in a subaru
and i married the first girl i ever loved

and i’m not smooth and i’m not tough
but i thought i was

i was working summers at the ice cream place
and i ran from the cops on roller blades
and i heard my neighbor joe shoot my dog

i was an afternoon poet on aim
quoting kerouac in my away messages
and i went looking for her one night in joe’s backyard

and i’m never gonna wake joe up
but i thought i was

i thought i’d be ernesto che
i’d dance like michael and write like jay
i said hey mamma your son’s coming up
and i thought i was

so i went back to my hometown
my hat in my hand my head bowed down
i’m sorry to everyone for selling you short
i was hoping there’d be more