I, Ludicrous - Oh, Really

Sylvane de Crane came back from the Spain
wearing a tan you could chalk your name on
That`s no surprise when the temperatures
rise into the 80s 90s
It was that hot in England last summer
You you live in England where
your idea of a summer`s day
is a clammy shirt and a can of squirt
and when the sky is blue its grey
Its different out there
its kind of a dry heat
Oh really
Kelvin Hughes went off to the South Pole
with the British Antarctic Survey
3 years in the arctic wastes no visitor except for
Renolf Feines walking backwards
Brrr the temperatures fell as low as minus 40 Kelvin
Kelvin I couldn`t stand it that cold
Yes You live in England where the winter means
grey slush in your boots
Condensation on your bedroom room walls
And the pool panel sits in judgement on us all
Out there its different
A sort of a dry cold
Oh really
Back to the much travelled Sylvane
Next stop Brazil
In the tropical rain forests on the trail of Sting
The rain fell in strange analogies
stair rods cats and dogs
I can`t stand the rain Sylvane
That`s cos you you live in England
Where the rain falls all the time
Those Italian shoes aren`t waterproof
and your umbrella nearly took out my eye
If you can see the Pennines it`s going to rain
If you can`t your looking the wrong way
Out there it`s different
Oh Don`t tell me
sort of dry wet