Christian Borle, Anthony Rosenthal, Andrew Rannells, Brandon Uranowitz, Stephanie J. Block - A Tight-Knit Family / Love Is Blind

Well, the situation's this
I do not wish to offend
I divorced my wife
I left my child
And I ran off with a friend

But I want a tight-knit family
I want a group that harmonizes
I want my wife and kid and friend
To pretend
Time will mend
Our pain

So it's nineteen seventy-nine
So we don't go by the book
We all eat as one-
Wife, friend, and son-
And I sing out as I cook

I love my tight-knit family
I love the way they cook linguine
Isn't it great? We're all so swell
Such a dear clientele

I swear we're gonna come through it
I fear we'll probably fight
But nothing's impossible
Live by your wit-
Kid, wife, and lover will have to admit
I was right
I cushioned the fall
I want it all
I want it all
I want it

Sit down, my dear
I hear you have a problem
I'm sure you're not disgusting or indiscreet
Take a load off your feet

Thank you
Happy or sad?
Well, I --

That's a question with no answer
Let's not discuss the weather, let's face the facts
Marvin's wife must relax

Love isn't sex
That's a thing my husband once told me
Marvin, my ex-
You've seen him for years-
Told me over the phone to tell you my fears
Do you only treat queers?

Breathe deep, my dear
You'll find me understanding
Your pain is a priori
Unfold you untold story
Now to break bread
Loosen your glands
Put your head in my hands

I'm everything he wanted
It's time I put it all together
The date was set
My father let me marry
I married. I...
Then Marvin came from work
Sat me down on the bed
He told me how he loved me
How needed and/or valued me
I have

What?
Syphilis
He said
Good
I have
Yes?
Syphilis
It's true
Good

I had something rotten
Which appears though now it's well forgotten

Maybe, darling, so do you
Maybe, darling, so do you
I am probably diseased
You're a lovely girl
And so easily appeased
What a lovely girl, though she's probably diseased

He took pains to not excite us
He explains I've

Hepatitis
Too
Hepa hepa hepatitis hepatitis hepatitis

Love is blind
Love can tell a million stories
Love's unkind
Spiteful in a million ways

Then I stayed home from work
Took good care of my men
They faked despair, they wet their bed
They combed their hair, they acted dead
One said

Yes?
Daddy is a prick
What?
He said
Yes?
Daddy isn't mine
Good

He filled my coats
With candies and notes
With "Will you be my valentine?"

Will you be my valentine?
This gets harder to believe
You're a damaged girl
I've a scalpel up my sleeve
What a damaged girl
Do not ever slit your wrists

I've missed him; he's still missing
Don't make noise, but daddy's kissing
Boys

Petty, petty, petty, petty

Love is blind
Love can tell a million stories
Love's unkind
Spiteful in a million ways

Love is blind
Love can tell a million stories
Love's unkind
Spiteful in a million ways

Love is crazy
Love is often boring
Love stinks
Love is pretty often debris
When you find
What you find. Then
Never, never, never, never, never
Do it over again

Love reads like a bad biography
All the names are changed
To protect the innocent Love

Love is blind

My name is Mendel
I treat her husband
I think she's very insecure
But so am I
I've never married
Work, work is my passion
Or perhaps that's an alibi

Yeah, perhaps it is
Yeah, I don't care to discuss it

I think she's charming
I think she's needy
In just five sessions on my couch
She'll be like new

His name is Mendel
Ah-ah

Return next Friday
I admit I admire you